A thing you already know: There’s always a reason to uncork. A great day! A sh*tty day! A group hang! An I’m-faking-sick-to-catch-up-on-The-Bach-by-myself hang! Lit-er-al-ly any moment can be improved with a glass of this stuff.
The annoying part is choosing the right bottle for each v specific occasion. I can see you, already 10 minutes late for book club, frantically googling “Is Bordeaux good?” in the middle of your wine store right now. Been there, searched that.
And this exact issue, friends, is why we’ve gathered here today. To help you find the perfect wine for any festivity (even if it’s just “I want something red”), Cosmo’s “wine” “experts” (read: editors) tested approx one zillion bottles to bring you the best. Observe.
BEST WHITE
“Funky and fresh, it’ll trick your friends into thinking you hand-selected it after acing the vino course at Le Cordon Bleu. Hell, it might even convert ‘I-don’t-like-white-wine’-ers.”
Maison Noir Wines Bottoms Up, $25
BEST ORANGE
“Yes, the goddess sauvy b comes in this sexy hue. You: now in a big sweater, a fedora, and a glass of this (yes, in it) till further notice.”
The Family Coppola Gia Orange Sauvignon Blanc, $25
BEST CANNED
“This fruity bb that looks like the Tin Man but tastes sweet like Dorothy will never spill in your fridge purse.”
Underwood Rosé, 4-pack for $28
BEST LOW-ABV
“The answer to fun hangs and waking up before noon. It tastes like fruity seltzer, rosé, and a crisp cider made a baby.”
Wild Arc Farm Piquette, $15
BEST BOXED
“A cool trick: 30 days of tart pinot grig in one cheery lil box. Pour a glass before a date, a few more on pasta night…the possibilities are endless.”
Barefoot on Tap Pinot Grigio 3L, $20
BEST RED
“When you need a solid hug substitute, this goes-with-everything blend tastes like black cherries, vanilla, and calling your mom.”
Gundlach Bundschu Mountain Cuvée, $20
BEST ROSÉ
“Doesn’t matter who you are or what season it is, this never-not-cool bottle, containing hints of candy, is a damn classic.”
Gérard Bertrand Cote des Roses Rosé, $17
BEST BUBBLES
“A highly gluggable apple explosion that pairs well with that raise you busted your ass for. Chug away, you superstar.”
Decoy Brut Cuvée Sparkling Wine, $25
BEST YOU-CAN-FIND-IT-ANYWHERE
“Whether you’re on a grocery run or being snobby in a local wine shop, you can always grab this crisp classic. Why branch out?!”
Chloe 2018 Pinot Grigio, $16
PRETTIEST BOTTLE
“Never since college have booze bottles doubled as chic decor—until this. YW for the ideal present to gift your friends.”
JNSQ Rosé Cru, $29
BEST UNDER $10
“She’s low budg, but honestly, her pineapple and oak notes demand a transatlantic accent and diamonds.”
Barefoot Buttery Chardonnay, $6
BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT
“It’s developed out of a Brangelina-owned château in France, which is probs the swankiest origin story possible for a rosé. This right here is a perfect way to show some b-day love at an affordable price.”
Château Miraval Côtes de Provence, $19
BEST UNDER $30
“This simple, fruity sparkling vino is champagne’s cool kid sister, and she’ll impress all your friends at any get-together.”
Ransom Frizzante Bianco Pinot Noir, $30
BEST TWIST-OFF
“This vino is all about balance: You’ve got the oak notes, the fruity ones, the citrusy ones; it’s a mouthwatering symphony!”
Ritual Chardonnay, $19
MOST GIFTABLE
“The primary reason you should buy this wine is that it tastes like chocolate-covered fruit served on a silver platter in deep mood lighting.”
The Guilty Grape Gold Collection Cabernet Sauvignon, $30
BEST BOOZE-FREE
“Whether you’re not much of a drinker yourself or you want to provide a solid non-boozy toasting option for guests, this stuff is made with white tea, ginger, and elderberry. So chuck that sparkling apple juice of yesteryear, babe.”
Töst Nonalcoholic Rosé, $9
BEST CHAMPAGNE
“Pop this bottle and everyone will be asking where you docked your yacht. The small, elegant bubbles with hints of green apple make it a go-to for juice.”
Lanson Le Black Label Brut, $60
BEST EXPENSIVE-LOOKING
“It tastes really good—more grassy vibes than your traditional oaky chardonnay. A solid contender for your Personal Bottle List™. What, doesn’t everyone have one?”
Gérard Bertrand Cote des Roses Chardonnay, $22
BEST ACTUALLY EXPENSIVE
“Part pinot, part chardonnay, and one hundred percent fresh as hell, this bottle full of dainty bubbles is worth splurging on when you hit it big. Trust.”
Billecart-Salmon Brut Réserve, $60
BEST CELEB-OWNED
“The flavor is gentle, sweet, and, dare I say…fun?! Plus the can is petite, cute, and pairs well as an accessory for any Friday-night outfit, on or off the red carpet.”
Nicki Minaj MYX Light Chardonnay, $12
BEST GAS STATION FIND
“This pinot grigio tastes like you paid at least double what you actually did, which is an easy justification to buy more than one. Good thing it’s conveniently located at 7-Eleven for the exact moment you need it the most.”
Ecco Domani Pinot Grigio, $10
BEST CHARITABLE
“Although it has a different name every month, #PurposeWine is a deep, earthy pinot noir that’ll make you feel like wearing a dramatic evening gown. A portion of proceeds goes to charities like the Brian Grant Foundation to help those with Parkinson’s disease.”
Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery #PurposeWine, $44
BEST FOR THANKSGIVING LEFTOVERS
“This light, bright, and fruity rosé is the yin to your salty leftover turkey and stuffing yang. Bc opposites do, in fact, attract. A hot take, yes, but you’ll probs agree.”
Kim Crawford Rosé, $19
BEST FOR GETTING DRUNK WITH YOUR ROOMIE
“Three of these bad boys = one bottle. And because shit talking requires much fizzy, pinot-based fuel, that’s ideal.”
Babe Grigio With Bubbles, 8-pack for $33
BEST FOR TAILGATING
“Mostly due to its super-delish hints of grilled meat (!) and spice. Sipped from a Solo cup, it’s football szn in a glass.”
Bacon Red Wine, $22
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BEST FOR OFFICE PARTIES
“Small talk with your manager on Tuesday night? Enter this can of summer. Just seven more months, boo.”
Roseade Rosé Lemonade, 4-pack for $15
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BEST FOR TV BINGES
“The refreshing dry sipper you need while knee-deep in the drama of Insecure, Gossip Girl, or The Morning Show. Enjoy with lots of salty snacks.”
McBride Sisters Collection Black Girl Magic 2020 California Rosé, $20
BEST FOR FRIENDSGIVING
“It’s high time to retire the ‘white or red?’ table debate. Grab this affordable bubbly, pop it open, and celebrate the mashed potatoes before ye.”
La Marca Prosecco, $16
BEST FOR VACAY
“Whether you’re *actually* in Italy or just pretending, you’ll be transported to Tuscany with this bold but slightly acidic (in that delicious, tangy wine way) Sangiovese. Eat with copious cured meats. Ciao!”
Tenuta di Nozzole Chianti Classico Riserva 2017, $25
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BEST FOR DATE NIGHT PRE-GAMES
“Not sure what’ll get you in the mood more, the cantaloupe and honey notes in this wine or its description of ‘salt-licked grapes gently pressed under a pink moon.’ You’ll feel flirty and dirty after a glass of this.”
Flamingo Estate Pink Moon Rosé, $30
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BEST FOR DOOMSCROLLING
“Drinking this while diving through the mess of a Twitter #Explore tab will make the whole thing seem somewhat bearable. It’s pretty. It’s sweet. It’s pink. It’s even been made into a gummy bear, dammit! Pair it with every terrifying episode of The Daily for instant (fake) serotonin.”
Whispering Angel Rosé, $21
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BEST FOR LISTENING TO LORDE’S NEW ALBUM
“This sauv blanc is made in New Zealand by a vineyard that uses solar panels, aka *thee* most on-brand wine for a jam-out sesh to Lorde’s newest album, Solar Power. One sip and bam—you’re on a beach and an extra in the music video.”
Spy Valley Envoy Sauvignon Blanc, $39
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BEST FOR MULLED WINE
“Consider this the official drink of Fun Girl Fall. The rich berry and chocolate notes in this vino are even yummier after a long simmer on the stove with a bunch of spices and an orange peel.”
Josh Cellars Merlot, $17
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BEST FOR TOASTING
“If you have a splurgy celebration around the corner, I suggest this sparkling stateside wine. It’s the delicious little sister of its $$ French counterpart, Pommery, but it tastes almost identical. Get ready for a party…in your mouth (?), but also in general bc the vibes are immaculate.”
Louis Pommery Brut California, $25
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BEST HOSTESS GIFT
“I don’t even like white wine, and I couldn’t stop sipping this beaut from the bottle with a stupid little smile on my face. Your hostess with the mostest will do the same when the party’s over.”
Bouchaine Chardonnay 2018, $34
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BEST FOR MEETING THE PARENTS
“Offering up this crowd-pleasing crispy white from California will convince your potential in-laws that you’re a regular attendee of wine club. Swirl your glass and point out the notes of green apple to make it seem like you have your sh*t together.”
Abbot’s Passage 2020 Sightline, $35
BEST FOR HOLIDAY MOVIE MARATHONS
“What better way to watch Hugh Grant dance down the halls in Love Actually than with your girlfriends, lots and lots of holiday cookies, and this bag of bright, juicy pinot noir? This one bag of wine fits two bottles’ worth, and it also reduces the wine’s carbon footprint.”
Maivino Pinot Noir, $35
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BEST FOR REALITY TV BINGES
“If you need some light, delicious, and inexpensive company whilst playing Bachelor catch-up, this is it! With only an 8 percent ABV and a super-affordable price, this is a companion I STAN.”
Cupcake LightHearted Pinot Noir, $10
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BEST FOR SCARY MOVIES
“This wine is lowkey my security blanket when I’m watching a horror movie. It’s tasty without being overpowering (perfect for red wine newbs like me). Look no further for a genius distraction when you’re too scared to look at the screen.”
Decoy Merlot, $21
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BEST FOR THE BATHTUB
“The worst-case scenario with bathtub wine is dropping a glass and shattering it all over your naked body. Riunite Lambrusco comes in a can, so you can enjoy this super-affordable light-sipping, bubbly wine without letting those intrusive thoughts kill the vibe.”
Riunite Lambrusco, 4-pack for $7.50
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BEST FOR APPLE PICKING
“Don your flannel, b*tches. We’re going apple picking! And if you don’t live near an orchard, This! Rosé! Is! Made! With! Apples! and will instantly transport you to those apple trees.”
Brooklyn Cider House Rosé Cider, $14
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BEST FOR HUMP DAY
“You’ll wake up ready to crush your Thursday morning meeting after two (okay, probs three) glasses of this organic wine. Plus it pairs with the exact kind of cheesy, saucy comfort food the middle of the week calls for. It’s kind of…perfect.”
Avaline Red Blend, $27
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BEST FOR SUNDAY SCARIES
“This low-alcohol, low-sulfite floral pinot noir is school-night safe and infused with herbs. Basically, it’s like doing yoga but better.”
Cale Hibiscus Pinot Noir, $25
BEST BIODYNAMIC
“Somehow, this sparkling blend of grapes tastes like honey without being overly sweet? Could be magic, but the hints of citrus and ginger def work to keep it more refreshing than sappy.”
Montinore Estate Vivacé, $25
BEST UNDER $20
“It’s organic and vegan, and some of the brand’s proceeds fund beach cleanups. Who doesn’t love a multitasker?”
Souleil Vin de Bonté Le Rouge, $14
BEST NATURAL
“You won’t find any funkiness in this organic red blend from Dry Farm Wines subscription wine club. Still, it’s oh so juicy, which pretty much makes it a health food.”
Domaine de la Triballe Les Cinsault de la Rainette
BEST ORGANIC
“When that one friend who shops only at Whole Paycheck swings by, pour them this. It’s a bubbly babe that’s just dry enough to leave you wanting more.”
Jean-Marc Gilet Domaine de la Rouletière Vouvray Brut, $20
BEST FAIR-TRADE
“Fact: Wine made by people who are treated well tastes better. This droolworthy one is super fresh and crispity crisp.”
Indaba Chenin Blanc 2019, $10
BEST VEGAN
“What, your wine doesn’t come in a variety pack? There are five to choose from here. P.S. All are so pretty!”
Nomadica Adventure Pack Sparkling, 8-pack for $58
BEST SUSTAINABLE ROSÉ
“This company pulls all the moves to make its organic wine environmentally friendly, and you love to see that the end result is a dry, sorta fruity light-pink wine that goes with everything.”
Obvious Wines Nº06 Simply Rosé, $18
BEST SUSTAINABLE WHITE
“Instead of grapes, Free Range’s L wine is made from *flowers*. It’s light and sweet, and it tastes like the fanciest lemonade you ever drank married your favorite white wine.”
Free Range Flower Winery L Lavender Wine, $23
BEST SUSTAINABLE RED
“Scribe was into sustainability before it was cool, and this bright and slightly spicy pinot noir is worth busting out when you want to make a good impression.”
Scribe 2018 Estate Pinot Noir, $50
BEST FOR HOT TODDYS
“If you’re hosting a lil get-together that calls for a fancy cocktail, this affordable, deliciously smoky whisky is an ideal match for your warm bevvy.”
Johnnie Walker Red Label Blended Scotch Whisky, $33
BEST BAR CART STAPLE
“Vodka goes with basically everything, so you might as well keep a good one around at all times. This super-smooth bottle tastes delicious in your after-work martini or pre-brunch screwdriver.”
Smirnoff No. 21 Vodka, $20
BEST FOR SHOTS
“Assuming there’s a v good reason behind your choice to drink straight tequila, there’s an even better one for shooting the GOOD stuff—and this is that. You might not even need a lime.”
Don Julio Blanco, $55
BEST FOR SPIKING THE EGGNOG
“Your holiday festivities with the fam will be way more lit (and tasty) with a splash of this spicy, warm rum in your drink. You’ll love it.”
Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum, $28
